What PWs Want to Know

The following list is a list of actual questions I received from a soon-to-be pastor’s wife:

  • How do you balance family and ministry? With your husband devoting so much time to the church, how do you handle that?
  • What has been your biggest struggle? Biggest joy?
  • What have you found has been the way you can best support your husband in his role?
  • How do your kids handle being a pastor’s kid?
  • How do you handle the expectations or “pedestal” that people put on you when you are the pastor’s family?
  • How are you intentional about carving out family time?
  • How have you overcome or embraced the typical “stigma” of being a pastor’s wife?
  • How do you handle church gossip, especially when it revolves around you or your family?
  • What are some resources that have helped you in this role of pastor’s wife?
  • How do you make sure that you are getting spiritually fed?
  • Is it a challenge for you to say “no” to a ministry or event because you are the pastor’s wife? How do you handle that?
  • If you could give one piece of advice to a wife just entering the ministry alongside her husband, what would it be?

Other areas that affect pastors’ wives:

  • expectations of you / by you
  • hospitality
  • friendship
  • marriage issues
  • handling criticism / conflict
  • emotional issues: depression, anger, doubt, fear, bitterness, loneliness
  • burnout / discouragement
  • keeping Sundays special
  • change / transition
  • stress
  • people-pleasing
  • identity crisis

And here are a few more areas of discussion:


  1. Tell us about your family.
  2. Where do you live / church / husband’s role?
  3. What is your role at the church? Are you on staff?


  1. How did you become the pastor’s wife?
  2. How has being in the ministry helped you grow in your relationship with God?
  3. What does your “quiet time” look like?
  4. How do you relax/recharge?


  1. How do you balance family, ministry, etc.?
  2. How do you keep the ministry and church a positive thing in your kids eyes?
  3. How have your kids coped with being PKs?


  1. What is the most challenging thing about being a pastor’s wife?
  2. What are your strengths? Weaknesses?
  3. What is your favorite thing about ministry? Least favorite?
  4. What do you feel called to do in life?
  5. How has the call on your life and the call on your husband’s life been woven together?
  6. Are you an extrovert or an introvert? How does this affect your role as a pw?
  7. Do you have a mentor for ministry or life?


  1. What do you wish someone had told you when you began ministry? Or, what’s the best advice you have ever been given?
  2. What book or other resource has been the biggest help to you?